Misophonia
Miso-what? Misophonia - a form of decreased sound tolerance. I just learned that this is an actual condition the other day and boy am I relieved... let me tell you why.
I have amazing hearing. If you are three rooms away from me and you drop a penny, I will hear it. If someone's smoke detector is going off two houses away, I will hear it. In fact, I will get out of bed in the middle of the night and go outside to make sure that it's a neighbor's house and not mine that is potentially on fire. Seriously. You might be thinking, wow, that's incredible! And you'd be right, it is pretty cool. For example, if you're standing across the room, whispering to your friend, there's a pretty good chance I can hear you. Good for me, maybe not for you, right? Sometimes it gets me in trouble though when I accidentally laugh out loud at what you said and then you know that I could hear you. "How on earth did you hear that??" Yeah, I get that a lot.
But there's something else that happens to me that I've always hated and can't control and before Tuesday I never understood why. The sound of chewing makes me crazy. Literally. I mean violently angry sometimes. You know how the sound of nails on a chalkboard sends shivers down your spine? Well, sometimes I actually feel as though my ears will bleed when I hear that sound. Noises that typically just annoy other people make me literally want to crawl out of my skin. And when I say literally, I mean LITERALLY. When I'm tired or if I just woke up I'm even more sensitive. It's the chewing though that causes me to turn green and break out of my clothes in an Incredible Hulk style rage.
Ever since I was little this has been a problem. Some people chew more loudly or awkwardly than others. For example, my Dad's mouth is like a cavern, I swear the crunching in there echoes. And my brother eats like a grazing cow, smacking and smooshing and ugh god it makes me shudder. The worst thing of all is crunching. Carrots, pretzels, chips, oh my goodness it rocks me to the core. If someone is eating cereal three rooms away with the doors closed in between I can STILL HEAR IT.
I knew when I started this job that this was going to be an issue. I have never been in an open workstation environment with a lot of other people. Every day someone that sits a few seats away snacks on chips. Someone will eat a salad or some pita chips. Another person eats carrots in the afternoon. I wonder if anyone has ever seen my head whip around to seek out the offender, or the glare that I send their way. I am ashamed to even admit this, but I seriously get so angry that I want to punch something, or someone... it is absolutely horrible.
If you've not experienced this, it's impossible to understand. You might be thinking, just get over it! Learn to deal with it! Ignore it! You're insane! Trust me, I've spent my entire life learning how to cope with this. Thankfully I am allowed to use earbuds at work so if I'm getting particularly sensitive, I just put the music on. If my Dad sits down in the living room with carrots, I leave the room. Fortunately, he understands and doesn't think I'm a total freak show. I noticed that my Mom will try to chew quietly, which actually just drives me even more insane because knowing that she's trying makes me pay more attention to it. Plus, when you try to chew quietly, you end up having to chew your food longer... I'd rather you just chomp on it and finish it fast! But really, this is my issue and I try very hard to not make it known that I'm dying on the inside. I have learned very well to cope with it. I even have been trying lately to desensitize myself to it. If I notice someone is chewing and it starts to bother me, I deliberately keep listening and calm myself down. Sometimes though I just can't handle it and I have to leave the room or plug in my earbuds. You know all of those tv commercials where they amplify the sound of someone chewing... like Twix or Raisin Bran Crunch or Kit Kat? I have to change the channel!
It's strange because my own chewing doesn't bother me. At all. Strange, huh? The other day I suddenly felt the need to do a google search about this issue and right away I learned about Misophonia. I couldn't believe that this is an actual neurological condition. It's not very well known or researched and some people think it's a psychological issue from a bad childhood experience. I had a great childhood. I don't believe that in my case, this is true. I do believe that it's a wiring problem somewhere in there. I just have super sensitive ears. Right now, someone is talking and she's particularly loud and it's annoying, but it is what it is. I just try really hard to not let it bother me and if it is bothering me, use the music. Now that I know that it's a legit condition, I feel a lot better about it and I actually think that maybe I can work on that desensitizing thing. It's worth a shot!
I wanted to write about this in case there are any other people out there that are dealing with this. Know that you are not alone! And you're not crazy, this is real! If you're a person that knows someone that talks about their sensitive ears, please have some compassion. It's a very painful condition and it's no joke. I'm really glad that I'm not just a psychopath though, seriously.
I have amazing hearing. If you are three rooms away from me and you drop a penny, I will hear it. If someone's smoke detector is going off two houses away, I will hear it. In fact, I will get out of bed in the middle of the night and go outside to make sure that it's a neighbor's house and not mine that is potentially on fire. Seriously. You might be thinking, wow, that's incredible! And you'd be right, it is pretty cool. For example, if you're standing across the room, whispering to your friend, there's a pretty good chance I can hear you. Good for me, maybe not for you, right? Sometimes it gets me in trouble though when I accidentally laugh out loud at what you said and then you know that I could hear you. "How on earth did you hear that??" Yeah, I get that a lot.
But there's something else that happens to me that I've always hated and can't control and before Tuesday I never understood why. The sound of chewing makes me crazy. Literally. I mean violently angry sometimes. You know how the sound of nails on a chalkboard sends shivers down your spine? Well, sometimes I actually feel as though my ears will bleed when I hear that sound. Noises that typically just annoy other people make me literally want to crawl out of my skin. And when I say literally, I mean LITERALLY. When I'm tired or if I just woke up I'm even more sensitive. It's the chewing though that causes me to turn green and break out of my clothes in an Incredible Hulk style rage.
Ever since I was little this has been a problem. Some people chew more loudly or awkwardly than others. For example, my Dad's mouth is like a cavern, I swear the crunching in there echoes. And my brother eats like a grazing cow, smacking and smooshing and ugh god it makes me shudder. The worst thing of all is crunching. Carrots, pretzels, chips, oh my goodness it rocks me to the core. If someone is eating cereal three rooms away with the doors closed in between I can STILL HEAR IT.
I knew when I started this job that this was going to be an issue. I have never been in an open workstation environment with a lot of other people. Every day someone that sits a few seats away snacks on chips. Someone will eat a salad or some pita chips. Another person eats carrots in the afternoon. I wonder if anyone has ever seen my head whip around to seek out the offender, or the glare that I send their way. I am ashamed to even admit this, but I seriously get so angry that I want to punch something, or someone... it is absolutely horrible.
If you've not experienced this, it's impossible to understand. You might be thinking, just get over it! Learn to deal with it! Ignore it! You're insane! Trust me, I've spent my entire life learning how to cope with this. Thankfully I am allowed to use earbuds at work so if I'm getting particularly sensitive, I just put the music on. If my Dad sits down in the living room with carrots, I leave the room. Fortunately, he understands and doesn't think I'm a total freak show. I noticed that my Mom will try to chew quietly, which actually just drives me even more insane because knowing that she's trying makes me pay more attention to it. Plus, when you try to chew quietly, you end up having to chew your food longer... I'd rather you just chomp on it and finish it fast! But really, this is my issue and I try very hard to not make it known that I'm dying on the inside. I have learned very well to cope with it. I even have been trying lately to desensitize myself to it. If I notice someone is chewing and it starts to bother me, I deliberately keep listening and calm myself down. Sometimes though I just can't handle it and I have to leave the room or plug in my earbuds. You know all of those tv commercials where they amplify the sound of someone chewing... like Twix or Raisin Bran Crunch or Kit Kat? I have to change the channel!
It's strange because my own chewing doesn't bother me. At all. Strange, huh? The other day I suddenly felt the need to do a google search about this issue and right away I learned about Misophonia. I couldn't believe that this is an actual neurological condition. It's not very well known or researched and some people think it's a psychological issue from a bad childhood experience. I had a great childhood. I don't believe that in my case, this is true. I do believe that it's a wiring problem somewhere in there. I just have super sensitive ears. Right now, someone is talking and she's particularly loud and it's annoying, but it is what it is. I just try really hard to not let it bother me and if it is bothering me, use the music. Now that I know that it's a legit condition, I feel a lot better about it and I actually think that maybe I can work on that desensitizing thing. It's worth a shot!
I wanted to write about this in case there are any other people out there that are dealing with this. Know that you are not alone! And you're not crazy, this is real! If you're a person that knows someone that talks about their sensitive ears, please have some compassion. It's a very painful condition and it's no joke. I'm really glad that I'm not just a psychopath though, seriously.
Comments
My dad is the worst, his jaw cracks and I literally feel nauseous. Not his fault, and I used to feel bad when I noticeably cringed and left the room.
My roommate purposely smacks his lips and chews with his mouth open. It's just how he eats, I understand, but I tend not to stay in the same room as him.
And yeah, it's worse if they try to be quiet and eat slowly. Thankfully my boyfriend eats quickly and somehow if he's making annoying sounds I feel comforted knowing it'll be over with soon.
I haven't really figured out how to deal with this or get over it. I tend to just remove myself from the situation.
You're so right though, having it be an actual condition makes the world seem a little better. Because I definitely thought I must be the rudest, meanest, insensative person in the world! Which is ironic, because apart from this challenge I face, I'm easy going, friendly, and love to have fun.
Sorry that this comment is so long. This is really the first time I've been able to talk with someone else about this that doesn't roll their eyes at me in frustration!
I'm not sure where you currently live, but we should get together and hang out sometime.. and NOT chew! :D
~Aubree Cherie
I've had this for about 10 years or so (am 20 now) and it started with my dad and his eating noises, I still can't stand them. I understand how difficult it is to deal with but recently the recognition of it has been a lot higher.
This website may be useful if you haven't come across it already:
http://www.misophonia-uk.org/
Kind Regards,
Sarah W
Hubby thinks I am nuts!
Thank you so much for publicising your experiences of misophonia. It really helps others to know that they are not alone.
Guy Fitzmaurice
Misophonia UK
CatBar (not really 'anonymous' but can't ever get that Google thing to work for me) said....
I feel I must be unique in this in that my sensitivities are any sort of impact sound caused/made by people, however low level the noise actually is.
Ie - someone slamming a fridge door really distresses me. Even someone slamming down a lid (or any sort of flap, however small) is really repulsive to me and I feel like a huge shock has gone right through me!
People who tap the table as they speak really get up my craw as well.
I don't know if this counts as Misophonia but my feelings towards the 'sound-maker' are ones of RAGE and DETESTATION!
By the way, I also am a UC sufferer. I had my colon removed as a result almost two years ago. I have a blog: WholeHeartAndSoul.blogspot.com if you are interested.
I'm a vegetarian too! Sounds like we have a lot in common!
Love your blog!
Abby
Please do feel free to post my blog on your site. That's why I put it out there!
Abby
I am sitting here at my desk almost in tears after finding your post while searching the net for informatin on hyper sensitive hearing. I'm 47 now, and have been bothered by eating noises since early childhood. My father was the worst offender. He's 86 now, and I still cannot eat in the same room with him. He could make eating a marshmallow the most aggravating experience for me, and no one ever understood why I got so upset and had to leave the room. Even today, as I sit and eat dinner with my partner watching TV in the evening, I will get up and leave the room suddenly in a panic - and run to the bathroom, shut the door, and turn on the shower to drown out the noise from the eating. I'll sit leaning against the vanity counter and rock my torso back and forth with my hands over my ears until I finally calm down. I'll try to ignore it or tune it out, but my peripheral vision is drawn to the offender's mouth and jaw, and every time the jaws come together for another crushing bite of food, I wince in anticipation of the noise it's going to make. I feel like an idiot, and it's so embarassing at times, but the sound gives me the same feeling as if there were roaches in my head, and I was screaming to make them get out (I know that's a drastic description, but it's the reaction I have that I can't describe any other way except absolute and total disgust and revulsion). I can't participate in normal family activities because of this. I will fly into an uncontrollable rage at the constant clacking of a spoon when someone is eating cereal, and like you said, they can be across the house three rooms away, with walls and doors in between - AND I CAN STILL HEAR EVERYTHING! The chewing, though, is the one sound that is so offensive to me. Of course, I'm the "crazy one" and I'm the one with "the problem," and I should "just get over it." Easier said than done, and the lack of understanding by others isolates me even more. I will look into Misophonia, and thank you for posting this information. You made my day by helping me realize I'm not the only one in the world who has this condition. Thank you so much. Jim, Los Angeles, California.
Tracy
Canada
I am so glad I found your post. It's awful that so many of us suffer from this but good to know we're not alone.
P.S. I haven't eaten a Kit Kat since that god awful commercial came out.
I don't go anywhere with out ear plugs. I have to wear them at the movies, (even though I refuse to go during typical busy times)and at all restaurants. If I meet someone that I like but they are a noisy eater, all bets are off and I won't be friends with that person. I just can't subject myself to the misery.
Pen clicking, fingernail tapping, foot tapping, hell any tapping or repetitive noises will drive me absolutely insane. And of course the number 1 worst of all is any eating noises.
There is a post on you tube about a guy who also suffers with this disorder. You have to see it!
Hang in there and know you are not alone.
Well it is nice to know we are not alone and there are others with this condition. That reminds me... I have been told its all in my head and stuff like that and thats its not a condition. Uhh i dont know what gets me angrier. Listening to certain sounds/voices, or being told that! MMM ill go with the sounds lol but the other one is pretty close.
All my life, ive been hiding and shying away from the noise that annoys: the kitchen when there are many ppl, the utensils scraping that last bit out, crunchy food munching, the cutting of vegetables, also when someone eats chips OUT OF THE BAG, repeating the crinkle everytime, like its so hard to get a bowl? (anyone notice ALOT of our instances relate to food?) and all else where there are door creaks, nail clipping, dropping water is like chinese torture, all analog clocks have at one time or another been shoved under couch pillows, typing especially, I remember asking when i was younger 'how do you concentrate on anything with all this noise?' all responses were more or less 'you just do' or' ignore it'. i felt like a lazy excuse ridden nervous wreck for not being able to function with the noise. i slept with earplugs blasting music and was screamed at being told i would go deaf, and replied that at least id have some relief! i fantasize about stabbing my eardrums with chopsticks sometimes, i spent a whole year next to a construction site AND barking dogs and that was the cherry, i worked a total of 0 hours, and have basically become a zombie.
BUT now that i know why im ' the only one' (in my circle) who gets this irked, i feel a huge sigh of validity acceptance and understanding, and can move on from here, that im not 'crazy' afterall ; )
thank you all for sharing your experiences!
Up until this moment, it's been something that I've never felt rational talking about. I mean, I still don't know what to do about it, but as hard as it is to have to leave the room when it hits to keep from screaming or breaking something, I can't tell you how much it helps to know that I'm not alone.
Thank you so much.
I, too, am so happy to know that I'm not just a sociopath.
Any sort of slamming, banging, crashing noise brings me grief as well. I categorize them as 'noises that can and should be avoided'... Like the rest of you - my own noises don't bother me (though I find myself carefully avoiding making my trigger noises in the presence of others - in case I'm not the only misophoniac in the room).
Nose blowing KILLS ME. I get VERY ANGRY when people blow their noses around me. I try to leave the area to blow my nose - to save others (in case they happen to be struggling like me). Constant sniffing is much worse. It makes me so angry!! I've been known to put a box of Kleenex on a persons' desk and TELL them to blow their nose and then as I walk away I plug my ears in anticipation of the nose blow.
I know this is completely irrational.
Thank goodness I'm an otherwise amiable person - I don't think any one would be able to tolerate me.
I too have excellent hearing... I've tried many of the 'white noise' techniques others have used - some work better than others. I had a white noise machine for a while, but stopped using it when I changed jobs and moved to an open-air office. White noise machines only seem to work in a cubicle environment.
I like the fan concept, though I can't use fans for noise cancellation for very long unless I am also using earbuds (I can usually hear over earbuds – it’s the shape of my ear canal). The electric sound of most fans (not the woosh sound of the air, but the internal electric buzz of the mechanical parts) makes me want to slit my wrists when I've listened to them too long.
I've also noticed that my trigger noises build up like bricks. The first few times I hear something may only make me cringe, but anything after that and I want to SCREAM at people or run out of the room. There are only a couple of distinct noises that make me want to jump on the person making them at first listen. Sniffing is one, and hearing someone suck food from their teeth is another.
I have a sister (nine years my senior) who has the same issue. We mutually discovered each others' misophonia at a family gathering about 10 years ago. She only noticed that she had issues with certain sounds once she reached college... While I can recall distinct early childhood memories of being in school, with my cousins, friends, or parents and wanting to cry from all of the noises they would make.
Certain noises that make others cringe - never bother me. Like baby cries. My first child had colic for some time and others would describe his screams as “blood curdling”, while I was nearly unaffected by them (except my sympathy for his discomfort). The chalkboard+nails sound has never bugged me. My sister has issues with Styrofoam rubbing together and the sound of paper (ie. packing paper) being pulled or ripped from the ream (consequently, she won't wrap gifts).Those sounds don't bother me in the least.
I do try to desensitize myself. It's a slow process - but I'm noticing my tolerance to certain noises has gotten somewhat better (though better is certainly relative, in this case).
The popcorn eaters always choose to sit next to me or right behind me. All my friends know we'll need to grab a napkin before we go into the theater so I'll be able to stuff my ears with my homemade earplugs.
My life is ruled by this. New potential friends, boyfriends have been immediately disqualified from my life for enjoying gum, smacking food, having a popping jaw. I broke up with one guy because his mother's jaw popped and had this nose whistling thing. I make sure my jobs will allow me enough freedom to not be stuck next to some gum popper. School sucked.
This entire time I thought I was tyrannical, wanted to control people, or was just a brat. What is so interesting is the level of rage that is brought forward so quickly. What brain center is being stimulated?? Maybe we should be studied under live MRI to see what's activated.
I wonder how things can be different without this misophonia. No more escape plans for everything? More friends, better social skills?
I remember when it all started - I was 12 years old and suddenly noticed that the ticking clock in my room bothered me. From there hearing people eat, heavy breathing, sniffling, biting nails etc drives me crazy to the point that I either have to leave the room or try my absolute best not to shout at them.
It has controlled my life in many ways and now, being 26 years old I can honestly say it's gotten worse over the years and I'm desperate for a cure!
I would also love to know why it all started - I can't pinpoint any trauma in my childhood that could have triggered it and thankfully my family have been as understanding as they can possibly be, although it is frustrating for them to walk into a room to have me leave if I know they're about to start eating...I would do anything to stop this horrible condition.
or as I am learning about this, echolalia. And then my mother would get angry at me for mimicking. And everyone would think I was a spoiled brat. I don't like the sound of people eating ice either. I hate people on cell phones as well but do not know if that is related. I am very sensitive to neighbor noise as well and find it frightening. Been in therapy for so many years with really not much help. Even on medications for depression related to noise intolerance. Nice to know there is actually a name for it.
Like some others have stated, it has gotten beyond just the noise sometimes. In other words, seeing a person chewing now brings it on (I suppose from the anticipation of the sound?). Although I can recall specific times as a child where it 'set me off,' I don't know when it actually began. The worst offender for me is my husband of 30 years. It is horrible to sit down to a meal with him!
Well, all I can say is I hope that this new knowledge can bring me just a bit of relief!
It started like so many others, at the dinner table as a child. I used to crinkle my paper napkin in my ear to keep from hearing my family eat. Since then I've noticed any repetitive noise becomes intolerable.
If I can't get away or mask the noise I feel like I'll explode. I've been so critical of myself for not being able to tune things out and wondered what is wrong with me. I've actually ended relationships because I couldn't stand certain noises people make. Sniffling is one of the most irritating. I use my Ipod to block out noises but then feel very isolated. I am so happy to find out there are others out there like myself. My husband tells me to block it out which enrages me. Don't you think I would if I could. It's torture at times to not be able to block out noises. It has always been difficult to work around others, travel, go to movies and be around people. I get so anxious if I am trapped with a person making noises that drive me crazy. Thank god there is a name for this, now a solution or cure please.
I can relate to so many of you making comments. It feels so great to know I am not crazy too. When I heard the story on the Today Show this morning I was relieved too. I control my anger but avoid many situations so I don't have to hear chewing and crunching ice. It's very sad but maybe we could just support one another and at least know we are not alone. Would love more than earplugs to solve my problem. Thanks:)
I am a 41 years old, and have been having misophonia since teenage years. My first memory of misophonia was watching my father chew food and it sounded so loud and disgusting, I had to get up and leave. I didn't like my dad much when growing up, and have always thought that I projected dislike and rage towards him onto the food chewing (later expanding it to pen clicking, sniffing and slurping- other sounds had nothing to do with him, but the condition worsened).
About a month ago I stumbled on misophonia article on the Net, and was delighted to find out this condition had a name. A bit disappointing there is no cure, since misophonia has been a huge burden to carry in life, and all I want is to get rid of it.
I am a "fixer" by nature, so I decided to try to consciously work on fixing this. First I asked my boyfriend to slurp while I was listening to the beautiful classical music (I read about this on one of the psychiatrist forums). That kind of worked only when music was louder than slurping or the same level of sound. I've tried that few times, but didn't feel like it would work long-term. So I tried something else, which I feel is working for me.
That second thing is something I named "re-focusing". When I hear the trigger sounds, I focus very heavily, to the point of obsession, on some other sound, something that I like. Example: if someone is chewing gum, and there is music playing in the background, I wrap all my senses around that music and, then (this is the important part), I start actively using brain for something. That could be adding big numbers, i.e. 257+238 or making a mental list of things to do, or making up bed-night story for my daughter, or resolving a work problem in my head, or reading something really complicated that requires lots of concentration. It has to be something that takes most of my brain processing power away from the sounds. I also don't let that anger and frustration envelope me. I keep focused on my "brain gymnastics", and on some other sounds that have positive connotations for me. So far, this worked almost every time (and I have to deploy this few times a day minimum!). It was quite hard initially, first few days I had to walk away from the sounds, till I got a hang of the control.
I doesn't work in the times when I am too stressed to focus properly, or already too annoyed with the noise, and just can't stand it have to leave. But, I've noticed that I am less annoyed with the sounds now in general, I like the feeling that I have the power to pull myself away from the trigger and stay in control. I think I made more progress on myself in this month than in the last 30 years.
Has anyone tried anything similar? Anything that is helping?
Thanks,
Tanya
Thank you for all who contributed. It makes me feel a little more comforted and hopefully there will be someone who can come up with a 'cure' or better way to treat this condition!!
- VLS
After one meal with her I had to eat my meals in my bedroom. Even now, I can only eat around others when there's music playing in the background, or at a noisy restaurant, or with the tv on, etc.
Blowing noses bothers me so much too. My dad always blows his at the dinner table -- every night. Sick! It's still hard for me to have dinner with them; I have to sit as far away as I can.
My partner slurps his soup sometimes, or milk (with cookies especially). For a while I thought he was doing it exclusively to piss me off -- I'd send him glares but he'd never notice. Now we eat with the tv on, but the slurping still sounds SO LOUD.
Felt so guilty about these repulsions of mine & the associated anger. Almost red-hot, blinding rage! Sometimes I just want to run out of the room! Everyone tells me "I can't help it/it's not my fault" & I agree. But I can't help it either! Feel almost giddy to have a name for it, now.
I believe I have a mild form of this condition.I am drivin insane inside since my teens when I hear my,dad,mom,sister or brother chew,drink and swallow.I envision breaking their plates over thier heads or hitting them and feel aggravated and angry inside at it.I know it's irrational and so i do all I can to subdue the anger.I don't get like some and scream and throw things.But I do snap at them sometimes and my brother knows how much it bothers me.I think he's developed an awareness to it when he's around me cuz I can't stand to see him eat either and I feel bad.And my sister constantly speaks while she's eating.it seems so pigish to me but I feel aweful feeling that way and know its wrong to get so annoyed by it and have never told her to damn swallow her damn food before she speaks,I just grit it out and bare it.My mom slurping drives me nuts and my dads jaw pops.AH! It doesn't happen with everyone,that's why I say it's mild,only family and friends I am close with..I tolerate it.But it never ceases to make me grit my teeth and feel anger towards them during it.I have a peculiar thing about it tho..I wonder f anyone else does too.Tho I don't mind hearing myself chew,eat,swallow at all when I'm alone.I Am starting to become Paranoid of OTHer people hearing me do those things.Maybe becuz I can't stand it in them.It's caused a whole other thing to come on.In the past couple yrs.its progressed so that my anxiety towards ALL of this has made me develop some sort of counter effect.I develop more spit then usual when I'm hyper excited or anxious.This makes it even worse for the paranoi! NOt to mention I still cannot stand when my family or close friends EAT.It's all one big mess.I really cannot help but feel like it has always been linked to my childhood sexual abuse issues.I've always felt that way about it cuz Their sounds literally CREEP me out in a way and I think that's why I feel anger...Here's something peculiar tho..Real sex sounds do not creep me out.LUCKILY. I need to beable to combat this Misophonia and the related wierd paranoi that follows it.Now that I know I'm not alone and that's a huge relief,I think,,unless that makes me think everyones like this in which case,I'll be all screwd up.No,It must be possible to work thru this! If it IS nuerological then our stealthy human brains should beable to over power it,,,right?!
Sorry if this comment was too erratic.This shit drives me nuts and it wasn't till I googled my symptoms did I even see this was an actual condition.
Hope you're doing well,
And Thankyou very much for letting me post,,I don't think I've ever been able to express to people who understand just how Maddening it all makes me feel.
Thankyou,Cheers
Its nice to see an outpouring of people who understand. I just hope for you all that it doesn't continue to get worse like some of us. It is truly miserable sometimes. Ruins my entire day.
I wish there is a cure
Mine started out around 7-8. I hated the sound of slurping. I would cry if people slurped things. Everyone just thought I was being a spoiled little brat and told my grandparents that they shouldn't listen to me whine and complain because I was just being a brat. My uncle would make slurping noises to irritate me on purpose. Snoring annoyed me too. I hated it. I would wake my sister up and tell her she had to stay awake until I fell asleep because otherwise the rhythmic snoring kept me awake.
I hate people sucking on hard candy. I hated the smell that heat has when it gets turned on in the car after not being on all summer. I hated the view of someone's cheeks moving when they chewed gum. That was all I had until college...
College I developed my hate of people clicking the mouse on a computer, people shaking their legs- this is my #1 trigger. I loathe it. I want to just go absolutely f&&**g ape when I see someone doing this. I mouth swear words I make very pointed glares at them, I use my bag to block them from my line of sight if possible. I have switched chairs more times than I can count to get away from leg shakers and to get them out of my line of view. Otherwise whatever I am trying to do is ruined because all I can do is stare at the leg or foot moving and wonder why!? WHY!? Who can move that much and why? It's not comofortable! I just go into a murderous rage and it's even against friends. I have never said anything to my friends or really anyone though, it all gets internalized.
This all followed me to med school and now into residency. I have co-residents who smack gum, shake their legs (one of my close friends chews gum almost 24/7 and shakes her legs even while standing- it is a complete nightmare for me as I just want to strangle her but I love her). My upstairs apt neighbor walks around too much so I scream at him all the time when I hear his footsteps. I hear my next door neighbor snoring through the wall and will bang on the wall to wake her so I won't hear it anymore. I punched a hole through one of my other walls when someone was playing bass too much. I can hear my neighbor walking on her treadmill next door, the vibrational low sound drives me crazy.
When I walk in patient rooms and people are smacking gum I just want to get out of the room as fast as possible. I think my face is disgusted. People biting into apples now bothers me. I realized that today and was in a rage as 6 different people ate an apple and everytime one of them pulled out an apple I went insane inside. Whispering also bothers me a lot now.
I have a theory about this stuff from reading others' experiences and from my own. I can hear extremely well...how about the rest of you? I can hear things a lot of other people cannot and therefore I feel like I pick up on noise most people don't even notice. Also I pay attention to detail and again think that's why I become fixated on these noises that others don't even notice. Also, in med school I studied all the time with headphones and music. Music....I love music. I listen to it all the time. I felt like it helped me remember things, and I would do very well on exams where I studied with music. I've always done well in school. I don't know I would be interested in knowing other details about people with this disorder.
I found it interesting to see so many say it started in their younger teen years and it started with eating noises of family members because that's when/why it started for me! I'm 45 now and to this day I see my mom giving disgusted looks toward my dad when he eats/drinks. I remember being a young child and thinking that my dad was tough as nails because when eating a chicken leg, he'd put the entire end of it in his mouth to rip off every last bit of meat, grissle and all, and crunch and crunch and crunch. I'm sure my description is driving some of you nuts, as it does me, but this is how it started for me.
Now I have a wonderful job sitting next to some wonderful people, BUT... one chews gum all of the time (I think to cover up his smokers breath) and for some reason doesn't have the ability to keep his freakin lips closed! Another person snacks a LOT, and I feel like she's constantly rustling her wrappers and munching on whatever it is. There are times (like now) that I just stare at my computer, unable to concentrate, as my blood pressure rises.
It also affects me with eating with some of my friends. Most of my friends are what I consider polite eaters, but there are a few huge offenders. Do you really need to suck whatever off of your fingers and make that smacking sound in the process? Can't you close your mouth when you chew?
Sorry for my unorganized thoughts... just trying to get through another day at work and was so relieved to find this post and hope my experiences will help someone else cope.
I get it, my sensitivity to sound is a Problem, diagnosable even...but what about the offender's need to crunch loudly, lack of consideration in slurping and smacking, their repetitive need to tap...what is their diagnosis?!
Cutlery to plate clacker
Chewing/talking with mouth full of food
Scrape sound of knives across toast
Apple crunching
Popcorn crunching
Licking/sucking of finger tips after eating
Clicking of pestacio nut to shell separation
Excessive car door slamming
Noisy car mufflers
Lawn mowers/power tools
Dogs barking
Sniffling
Sneezing
Clearing of throat
Coughing
Hearing people talk on their phone
For me the list seems to slowly get longer and I have to use Noise canceling headphones, earphones with ambient music,leave the room or get up off my chair or do my best to avoid the situation/triggers.
I feel that as a society...manners and consideration for others is a low priority for many....its just people in their own little world and who cares if its 1130pm and the neighbors are asleep.. Let's just SLAM the doors instead of quietly closing them, I really want to eat an apple...so...instead of slicing it...I'll just crunch on it for everyone to hear...yes...I'll call up my mate and talk for 30+ minutes about crap in a train/bus...or I'll just eat with my mouth full of food cause I need to broadcast something so important like "check out this funny YouTube video"....
Its a 'noise phobia' vs 'peoples lack of social respect for others issue'.....
I have been reading Dr. Kramer's material on line that has been most helpful to see that it does indeed link back to traumatic events perhaps, the mouth noises, kitchen utensils, certain people's voices, anything we deem as "intrusive" or "threatening" coming through conditioning from repeat exposure to a sound and an negative emotion affiliated with it. I had a friend who once attended a conference for youth and understood better her own children that had been abused by their father, and the one particular grown son that has a hang up with people licking their fingers and other mouth noises at the dinner table. It was linked directly to sexual abuse. I could be wrong .. but having been through it myself, I am HIGHLY irritable to sounds through walls, intrusive loud noises in apartments where I have lived, and am not to wild about eating out in restaurants to hear those around me eat, especially if it's a quiet restaurant.
It's perplexing and painful to live with and has even driven me completely away from wanting to be married, never having been, and having had the opportunity more than once, simply because I grow so irritated and intolerant of those triggers with them not to mention a connection with negative emotions with men to begin with .... it's a tough one. But it's a relief not to have to tolerate behavior all day long from a potential someone who doesn't even know this bothers me.
And to those people I read who have family and friends who do things deliberately to annoy and insight these emotions in another person dealing with misophonia, God help them, they are without any clue what this does to a human being. I stay as far away from them as I can.
I found a great article on this from a fellow misophonia person who helped to establish an organized study lab on this at Duke University. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/noises/201702/misophonia-breakthrough-study-0
It's fascinating to finally SEE that OTHERS have this same thing and that we are not alone, or crazy, or being unreasonable.
Thank you to those that posted on this blog about their condition with this as well. Thankful to finally get some understanding at to the causes and studies on this.