Sugar and Spice and my gluten-free life.

Sticking to my guns.

2008-05-25T09:37:00.002-04:00

I've had a little bit of time to digest (eh hem) all this and I think I know what I need to do here. I have some horrible visions in my head of surgeries and ostomy bags and infertility and cancer just from stories people have told me in the past day and a half and it's more than enough to convince me that the gluten-free life is the life for me. There are just too many positives and not enough negatives not to do this for myself. I realize that there's a chance that it may not work, but there's also a chance that it will quite literally save my life. That's all I need to know. Let me show The Doc how much healthier I will be when I'm gluten-free.

My Mom has a hard time understanding why I want to do this despite the fact that I do not have Celiac. She hasn't read all the books I've read and heard all the stories I've heard of healthy, happy, gluten-free people. She just wants me to be able to live my life without the stress of having to watch everything I eat, and if the medication they give me will allow me to do that then why wouldn't I? Well Mom, you should read the literature that comes with the medication. When you're 28 years old and your doctor tells you that you need to be on a medication for the rest of your life that you absolutely cannot get pregnant when you're on it... well that makes something inside of me break and I just can't deal with that. I read these laundry lists of side effects and I'm thinking to myself I never even take tylenol, why on earth would I want to take these forever? Listen, I'm all about taking the meds to get this issue under control. I believe that's really important. But I am of the utmost faith that I can and will maintain it with my diet.

Mom's coming around though, I got to her house last night and found a gluten-free cake mix sitting on my designated gluten-free shelf in the pantry. She hadn't made the cake yet but the fact that she went out and found that mix and bought it was huge. I don't even care if she ever makes the cake, the fact that she bought it just shows that no matter what, she supports me and that's the most important thing. She even was looking up techniques I think, because when I was looking at the mix she was remarking on how expensive it was and that she learned that she can make a cake with her own GF flour mix and she'll do that instead next time. I love my Mom!! She bakes these incredible whoopie pies that are an old family recipe and she is trying to get to the point where she can market them and I said that someday we'll have to develop a gluten-free version. They really are the most delicious whoopie pies on earth.

Ok, well it's a beautiful day here in Boston and I am surely not going to waste it. Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone!!

Results

2008-05-23T18:06:00.002-04:00

Where do I begin? I have Crohn's Disease. Full blown, advanced, ulcer filled Crohn's diseased. The good news is there is no evidence of damage anywhere in my digestive system other than the terminal ileum. That specific location however, is a mess. Isn't that lovely? I thought so. And so now what do we do? First up, medication. Not my ideal situation, but there's no question we have to take care of the inflammation first and foremost. He didn't even mention diet. So I asked, what about the diet? He says, well you really shouldn't have to change anything, basically saying just let the medication work its magic. He did say that if there are certain foods that bother me then I can certainly eliminate them. I told him about my research on gluten free and specific carb diets. He gave me the standard answer that I had a feeling he would give. There is no scientific evidence to support a gluten free diet. But he did say that it is certainly true that it is hard for us to digest gluten. He did more blood work, sent in my prescriptions, and told me to come back in three months.. or sooner if I feel worse or have issues with the medication. I am not keen on the side effects of these meds! Possible weight gain, acne, stomach aches (isn't that what I'm trying to avoid???)...

I am not exactly sure what to do next. Do I go ahead and go gluten-free anyway knowing that it will probably help? Or do I just try to eat generally healthier and not worry about it? He said that dealing with Crohn's disease is hard enough as it is, and trying such a strict diet is basically just setting yourself up for failure. Not to mention a ton more stress, which can aggravate the issue. I am at a loss at this moment. What the heck do I do now?? I'm leaning towards going ahead with the gluten-free diet anyway. There are just too many success stories not to. Maybe. I don't know. So confused. Gotta go watch this movie that's on and think about all this later.... Thanks so much to all of you for your support through all this, I have such wonderful friends!!!

Are they serious?

2008-05-23T09:09:00.002-04:00

Hate jet-lag? Well why don't you just starve yourself?

Follow-Up Friday

2008-05-23T08:34:00.002-04:00

Have you ever had a colonoscopy? Well I don't know if they do this for everyone, but when I woke up from the drug induced "nap" after the procedure, I was greeted with a printout of the results. Complete with photos. Of my colon. The inside of it. Ulcers and all. I'm assuming that this afternoon when I go visit The Doc he's going to make me relive the horror of looking at my own damaged insides so that he can show me exactly what's wrong with me. I hadn't actually thought about this until right now and I have to be honest, I'm having a hard time keeping my breakfast down. Remind me not to eat a late lunch.. my appointment is at 3:50.

Last night I threw myself an "I can't eat anything delicious anymore" pity party. I went to Jimmy's and got myself a BLT sub, side of fries and an orange soda. You might be thinking, that doesn't sound so bad, you totally could've done better for a last supper. I have to say I agree with that, but I'm broke, didn't have a dining partner, and was in a hurry to be home to watch Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy. Here's the kick in the stomach: while I was waiting for my food to be ready, I went next door to Tedeschi's and picked up a pint of Dove's Give In to Mint ice cream. Just one last pint I thought to myself.

Growing up, my mom would cook dinner for the family every night. And every night I would be the first to sit down, fill up my plate, and devour everything on it before anyone else even had a chance to sit down. Eventually, this became known as "The Hoover Maneuver". I'm not kidding. My own parents came up with this. The scars are deep. It hurts. Well last night I was back to my old tricks. I managed to take down that sub, fries and ice cream in record time. The pain that ensued was horrific. See here's the thing, sometimes I can pull something like that off and it hardly at all bothers me. And sometimes I do this and then I feel as though I will die at any moment from the intense pain. Last night was one of those nights.

Well finally we've arrived at follow-up day and I couldn't be happier. I seriously hope he doesn't want me to have any more tests done because I can't keep this up. Just let me go gluten-free and lactose-free and sign me up for a follow-up in another 3 months. You can even prescribe me some meds if you so choose. I'll even take them, I promise. For 3 months I'm at your mercy, whatever you tell me to do, I'll do it. Not like the last time when the other "what do you want me to tell you" GI told me to cut out lactose and eat healthier. Yeah obviously that didn't work.

I'll be back later with the results of my visit with The Doc! Happy Friday everyone! It's a long weekend!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to cook more

2008-05-22T12:36:00.003-04:00

A while back I purchased Tosa Reno's Eat-Clean Diet Cookbook. It has a ton of healthy recipes in it and what I discovered recently is that it also has some gluten-free, vegan, and vegetarian recipes that are clearly marked. I haven't actually attempted to make any of these recipes, nor any of the recipes out of the other 5 or 10 cookbooks I own, but I would really like to one of these days! I'm lucky to have a health food store locally that stocks a ton of gluten-free products but unfortunately that lets me fall into the trap of eating a lot of packaged foods that are high in sugar and sodium. I'm a busy girl! I need to have things that are convenient! So my cookbooks collect dust and I come up with excuse after excuse to avoid cooking. I've also been avoiding working out a lot lately too. I had gotten down to just going to kickboxing on wednesdays and saturdays and now it's surprising if I show up even one day a week. What happened to me? I keep hoping that the gluten-free diet will wake me up out of this hazy life and I'll find my way back to my old vibrant self. Please tell me this is going to happen! Or am I really just this lazy? I seriously hope not. 26 hours left until my follow up with The Doc! I can't wait. Get out of work at 3, head over to Beth Israel, hope for some good news and then go home and take a nice long weekend off. I'll update here as soon as I get back to a computer tomorrow night!

Let them eat cake!

2008-05-21T14:40:00.003-04:00

How delicious does this wedding cake look? Good enough for me to eat, because it's gluten-free! This cake was made by Vita Cohen of Celia Cakes. She runs this business out of her home and cakes are made fresh to order. In 2005 Vita's husband was diagnosed with Celiac and that's when she started experimenting with gluten-free baking. She now offers a variety of flavors of cakes and also cupcakes for special occasions and weddings. My birthday is next week and I was thinking of baking my own cake from a GF mix but then I stumbled across this website today. Maybe I'll order a cake or cupcakes instead! I imagine she's probably busy this time of year with graduations, weddings, etc. Plus I don't really have the money and was kinda curious to bake my own cake, but it's nice to know I have options! I know for sure where I'll be getting my wedding cake someday!

perspective

2008-05-21T09:44:00.002-04:00

After suffering a seizure the other day, Senator Kennedy was taken to Massachusetts General Hospital where he was found to have a malignant brain tumor. The prognosis is not very good at this point. We do a lot of work with the John F. Kennedy Library Foundation and I've printed many invitations and programs for events that the Senator has been involved with. It's a sad time and my thoughts are with him and his family and everyone over at The Foundation.

This is one of those times when having a stomach ache doesn't really seem so bad, ya know? I'm curious to see what people have to say about this development over the next few weeks. I know there are a lot of people that admire him and there are probably just as many people that want nothing to do with him. I hope that people can just be compassionate to the situation. I'm finding it very frustrating that I can hear the helicopters circling over Mass General as he was scheduled to be released from the hospital at 10 this morning and it's just about 5 of right now. I understand that he's a public figure, but for heaven's sake give the man some privacy.

I love Cookies

2008-05-20T20:20:00.002-04:00

I just want you all to know how much I love these cookies. Pamela's Gluten-Free Dark Chocolate Chunk Cookies, made with 89% organic ingredients. Pair these with some lactose free milk and I'm in heaven.

Tonight I decided to go a little crazy and make a fancy dinner for myself. I had some steak tips defrosted and I didn't know what to do with them so instead of finding a good recipe, I made up my own. I made a box of GF thai rice mix and then in a skillet I heated up some fresh ginger and garlic in some extra virgin olive oil, then I added mushrooms and green onions. I added some red wine vinegar at the end, but didn't really cook it well enough to reduce it. I broiled the steak tips. It wasn't at all a bad meal but could've used a few improvements. I'm not a fan of the thai rice, it's actually kind of bland for what's supposed to be a sweet chili curry. Well, it was a fun experiment and I think next time I'll try a recipe instead of just winging it. I wish my kitchen was bigger, I love to cook but I hate my kitchen. There is about a 12"x12" square of counter space.

Only 2 and a half days left until my follow up with The Doc. I can't wait. Then it's the long weekend and thus begins my birthday celebrations. Maybe I should find a good gluten free cake mix so I can have cake on my birthday and not worry about it making me sick. That would be fun. You know what I really need? A kitchen-aid mixer! I finally got a food processor about a month ago and although I haven't used it very much I do love it. I plan on using it this weekend to make some salsa. YUM.

Okay, back to watching Knocked Up. This movie really freaks me out...

Almost time to go back to work..

2008-05-18T20:29:00.003-04:00

It's Sunday night. I am not finished with my homework for class tomorrow night and I'm not even going to look at it again until tomorrow and just hope for the best. Only 2 more classes and I'm moving on to Photoshop. I can't wait.

Yesterday was my cousin Steve's girlfriend Jess' baby shower. I ate so much crap and felt awful. Still do. I've got this "eat everything you love before the doctor says you can't eat it anymore" thing going on this week. Well, I think I'm done with that because I'm feeling miserable. I just have the strangest feeling that I'm going to have to have a small bowel endoscopy and biopsy done so I want to make sure I'm good and damaged. That sounds so bad, but it makes perfect sense to me. We'll see what The Doc has to say on Friday. That day seems so far away, but the good news is, my appointment is at 3:50 so that means I will have to leave work at 3 which means that my long weekend starts early. You know what though? At this point, it doesn't even matter whether it's just Crohn's or Celiac or both, I'm going to have to be gluten-free and lactose-free anyway so I might as well just get started. I can't wait to feel better. To look better. To be happier. I read an excellent article today in Living Without magazine about the gluten-free diet as it relates to autism. It's astounding to me that the GF diet can so drastically reduce the symptoms of autism! It just goes to show that there is so much that we don't understand about how food affects our bodies. It's kinda scary huh?

Extreme Makeover Home Edition is my favorite show ever. Random, I know, but it's on right now and it's the most inspiring show and I just love it. Ever since it started I've wanted to be a part of it. I'm signed up with Habitat for Humanity but I have yet to do any volunteer work for them. There are so many things I want to do with my life, how do I possibly fit them all in? It's funny today I was thinking about how scared I am about settling down and having a family because there are still so many things I want to do first. I think I'm just getting freaked out because my 28th birthday is only 10 days away. Oooh, that reminds me, today is my Dad's birthday. I saw him last night to celebrate but I should've called him today! He's probably asleep in his chair by now. I'll tell him tomorrow morning.

Ok, gonna watch the rest of EMHE. Happy Sunday.

I need therapy.

2008-05-15T19:31:00.003-04:00

I have to come clean here. I have a problem and it's called food. Hi, my name is Jen, and I'm a foodaholic. It's been going on for years and years. I know what I'm not supposed to eat but I eat it anyway. It's compulsive. I do it when I'm bored, frustrated, tired, sick, sad, happy, or pretty much any time. I know it's wrong. I know I'm damaging my body. So why, you may be asking, do I do this to myself? Excellent question, I wish I knew the answer. As you can see from this photo, tonight I'm home, watching Top Chef, researching fonts, and eating Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream. It's my favorite. And let me tell you, this pint (yes I ate the whole thing) was the best one EVER. There was so much cookie in there.... to die for. Perhaps literally. Nah, that's a little morbid!

But seriously, how many of you out there put on a brave face and act like you're the poster child of good health, only to hide in your bedroom by yourself scarfing down a pint of B&J's? I'm not bulimic, I don't binge and purge or anything like that, but sometimes I think what I do is just as destructive, especially in light of the fact that I have ulcers in my intestines. I talk all day long about what I'm supposed to be eating, then I eat all the wrong things and complain about how horrible I feel afterwards. WHY? Because ice cream makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It's comforting. I love comfort food. It's the comfort food that's destroying my insides. It makes me crazy that I have to give them up. I truly, really, honestly do not want to be sick anymore. I'm slowly breaking the cycle. Knowing that I still have a week left before I visit with The Doc is what's keeping me in this pattern. I know that until I have an actual diagnosis, not just a "it looks like it might be", then I will keep eating poorly, despite the fact that it makes me feel bad. I've been dealing with these issues for almost 15 years or more. I'm used to having a stomach ache, so it's just not enough for me to change my eating habits until I have specific doctor's orders. Does that sound crazy to you? Yeah, it sounds crazy to me too.

So now what do I do? Stop making excuses for myself. Stop hiding in my room and eating ice cream. Stop the vicious cycle.

I found out today that one of my customers is going through all the same things that I am going through. Sucks, sorry to hear it, hope you figure it out and get better soon!

Wow, the guy in the photo just got voted off. Ouch. I liked him, sorry to see him go!

How to Deal

2008-05-14T10:51:00.002-04:00

I can't remember if I talked about this book before, I know I've at least mentioned it briefly. I'm reading (again) Breaking the Vicious Cycle, Intestinal Health Through Diet by Elaine Gottschall. It's a diet for Crohn's, Ulcerative Colitis, Diverticulitis, Celiac, Cystic Fibrosis and chronic diarrhea. It also shows some links to Autism which I found interesting. The diet focuses on a grain free, lactose free, low sugar diet and is said to have cured hundreds, possibly thousands of people with various IBDs. This also goes along with the book a posted about not long ago, Going Against the Grain. The book talks in great detail about how grains and sugars are processed in our digestive system and what happens to people with digestive disorders. Basically, there's not a lot of evidence out there that shows what the cause of these disorders is, but there's a lot of studies that show that grains and sugars exacerbate the problems. I don't know, it's all very confusing and I'm sure I'm not articulating it properly but the bottom line is this is the reason I choose to be gluten-free because there's nothing harmful in it and if anything I'm in worse shape if I continue to eat gluten. The frustrating part about all of this, is that there is not nearly enough research being done to help people with digestive disorders. Doctor's don't recommend gluten-free or grain-free diets to people other than Celiac patients because there is not enough scientific evidence that it's helpful. The issue with that is, there haven't been enough studies done, so how do you know? It blows my mind that the symptoms between Celiac, Crohn's, and Ulcerative Colitis are so similar, and they know for sure that Celiac is gluten intolerance, yet they don't at all believe that Crohn's and UC could also be aggravated by gluten. Does that make sense to anyone else? The differences between the three are the areas of the bowel affected and the type of damage to the bowel. There are so many people out there that have gone gluten-free or done the specific carb diet and have been completely in remission ever since, so why don't they do more research and see if this is a viable option for all IBD patients? I don't know how the medical field works but am I naive to think this is so obvious? Maybe it's because there are too many other patients that don't find these methods successful, but there are no books about those people. At any rate, I am not the type of person that wants to spend the rest of her life on medication, so I'm going to do everything I can to fix this problem with diet, exercise, stress management, etc. If that means going at least gluten-free if not, SCD then that's what I'll do.

Gonna have to change my blog intro soon...

2008-05-13T12:34:00.002-04:00

Just got back from my Upper GI x-ray series. Wow was that fun. Here drink this nasty chalky stuff, ok now stand up, sit down, lay down, turn around, up on your side, while we x-ray. Go sit in the waiting room while the stuff flows through your digestive system, now come back and have more x-rays. I was in there for over 2 hours. They found the same thing as the colonoscopy found, inflammation in the trans ileum, which suggests Crohn's. Yippee. I don't go back to see The Doc until May 23rd, unless he gets my results and wants to see me sooner. This sucks. It's totally stressing me out. I don't know what to eat, so I've just been eating anything and you know that's not helping! It's stressing me out which is making it worse. I need to just chill and take a break. But it's the spring and work is busy and there are showers and parties and mother's days and father's days and birthdays to go to and there's no rest for the weary. I could go home for the rest of the day but I have too much work to do and a customer coming in to see me at the end of the day. I've been out of work more in the past 7 months than I have in all 4 and a half years that I've worked here. I hate missing work but I could really use some down time right now. You know what I need right now? Ray LaMontagne. Yeah, that's it, ok, off to work I go with Ray keeping me calm. :)

Steps closer to diagnosis.

2008-05-09T22:05:00.003-04:00

I had my colonoscopy this morning. It went a little differently than I expected. They said it wouldn't hurt. They lied. It hurt! I wondered why and then Doc came in to see me and gave me the bad news, after apologizing to me for having to go through all that discomfort. He said "it looks like you have Crohn's disease." I was shocked, "Really?" Yes. He said there was a lot of inflammation and ulcers in my intestines, he took biopsies and wants me to come back within the next few days for a small bowel x-ray and then back again after that to talk to him about all of the results and what to do next. He told me before the procedure that my blood work had all come back fine, no evidence of Celiac and that was a very good sign. He seemed enthusiastic. But after the procedure he seemed discouraged and concerned. I've been so focused on IBS and Celiac that I hadn't even looked at Crohn's. I knew generally what it was but not in depth. The first thing I did when I got home was get to researching. Looks like I would've been better off with a Celiac diagnosis. Crohn's is rough and not easily fixed. It's not as simple as going on a gluten-free diet. I read about medication, surgery, flare-ups, remissions, it's overwhelming.

I have read the book Breaking the Vicious Cycle that spells out the Specific Carb Diet for essentially curing Crohn's, Colitis, and other IBD's. I was encouraged that so many people had found relief from this grain free, lactose free, low sugar diet. Then today I read on the Crohn's Foundation website that the SCD has no scientific backing and is not particularly recommended, however a gluten-free diet might help. They say that while nutrition is important, it's not the root cause of the bowel inflammation. I don't want to be on medication. I don't even take advil or tylenol for pain or headaches. I am a firm believer that this can be controlled by diet and I will talk to my Doc about it. I just hope I don't need any surgery. I have an appointment for the small bowel x-ray on Tuesday morning, but then I couldn't get in to see him again until May 23rd. I'm hoping maybe he'll have a cancellation in the meantime so I can get in sooner. I really want to deal with this right away. I am going to go ahead with the gluten-free diet for now anyway. It can't do any harm at this point. I feel better that I'm close to a final diagnosis, but the thought of Crohn's disease scares me. Wednesday afternoon I had stabbing pains worse than I've ever felt, and if that's what I'm looking at in the future... well all I can say is I really hope I can get control of this and not suffer for the rest of my life. I'm confident that I can control this and be healthy. I'm so glad I found my Doc and he's been amazing about being proactive and helping me find answers.

I will keep you posted on how things go over the next few weeks. Thanks for all the support!

Yummmm

2008-05-08T17:49:00.001-04:00

Magnesium Citrate. Delicious. Round One down, one more to go......

Less than 48 hours...

2008-05-07T19:05:00.002-04:00

I'm home from work for the rest of the week and the countdown is on. I am on a low-residue (sorry if that's gross) diet and all I can eat is white bread. Um yeah this afternoon I had the most horrific stabbing abdominal pains I think I've ever felt in my life. Tomorrow will be so fun, drinking nothing but fluids all day. Blech. Will get the blog back to a more lively state next week when I'm feeling human again. I will keep you all posted on how things go on Friday.

Preparation Time

2008-05-05T15:34:00.002-04:00

This weekend I went to my friends' wedding, the new Mr. and Mrs. Pete Obin! It was a very lovely event and I had a wonderful time. Crystal looked beautiful and now they are on their way to sunny St. Lucia. Of course after the wedding was the hotel after-party and I didn't get home until almost 4 in the morning. So pretty much I spent all day yesterday laying around in my pj's which is nice to do once in awhile but I honestly hate wasting an entire day like that. I was feeling pretty miserable though because I'd been drinking beer all night. This week I'm preparing for my colonscopy and all I can eat over the next couple of days is refined carbs, lean proteins and lots of fluids. Thursday I have to do the liquid diet and then I go in to Beth Israel at 7:30 on Friday morning. I'm feeling pretty miserable at this point but I just keep reminding myself that by Friday my system will be clean and then I can start over. I intend on telling my GI that I am going to be gluten-free as of that day and if he wants to do an endoscopy he better do it quick because my intestines are going to be on their way to healed as soon as possible. I can't stand feeling like this anymore!

I'm also pretty bummed about the fact that my cell phone is totally busted, so if you've tried to call me within the last week or so and got my voicemail, that's why. I've been checking the messages as often as I can but since I don't have a land-line at home, I can only check them from the office. Thankfully that rebate check is due to arrive in my account this week so it's probably going to either repair this phone or buy me a new one. I haven't even had this phone that long! So frustrating.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Happy Cinco de Mayo! and Happy Birthday to Matt Gallagher!

What do you mean you don't have Redbridge?

2008-05-02T09:22:00.002-04:00

Before the game we headed over to the Beacon Street Tavern because Allie called in advance to see if they have Redbridge, which they said they did. She knew this because she'd been to their sister restaurant many times and they always have it available. Upon arrival we were told by the bartender that he was mistaken, they stopped carrying Redbridge and now serve New Grist instead. We were disappointed but thought we'd give it a try. The photo above is not one I took, I forgot to do that, so I google imaged it. The frothy head you see in that pic is quite deceiving, I didn't pour mine into a glass but I could tell straight from the bottle that this is not a frothy beer. In fact it didn't actually taste much like beer at all. It was quite fruity, more reminiscent of a cider, but not at all bad, just not what we were hoping for. We wanted beer.

We headed over to Fenway and luckily they now serve wine there, so we got our girlie cups of Beringer Chardonnay and sheepishly walked to our seats. We both used to be avid beer drinkers so to be sipping on a glass of white at a Sox game... well it's just not fun! We had a great time though, the game was not very good, the Sox lost 3-0 to the Jays.

Unfortunately on our last trip to the alcohol line, they ran out of white so Allie took the last one, and since I'm still un-diagnosed and in testing phase I went for the beer that was so conveniently already in front of me just calling my name. I paid for it later though.

All in all it was a great night, I asked Allie a bunch of questions about how she's been dealing with her GF lifestyle and it was really helpful and nice to know that I have someone close to go through all this stuff with. Thanks Allie for a great night!!

A gluten-free Sox game?

2008-04-30T16:24:00.002-04:00

Wouldn't it be nice if they served Redbridge at Fenway? And gluten-free hot dogs on gluten-free buns with gluten-free ketchup? ::Sigh::

Since I'm still undergoing testing, I am not on a GF diet in order to prevent false negatives. But I'm taking my friend Allie to the game, and she just so happens to have Celiac. I also don't feel like waking up with lead in my stomach the next morning. This will be my first beer-less, hot dog-less Red Sox game at Fenway. Maybe this time I'll actually remember the game for once. I tend to go overboard on the Bud Light when I'm there and yell "Come On Manny!" and then the Pirates fan standing next to me says, "They took Manny out last inning". And then not only do I look like a stupid chick that knows nothing about baseball (which I am totally NOT by the way) I look like a stupid chick that knows nothing about baseball that also happens to be wasted. If I ever thought I'd find my future husband at Fenway that was not the way to do it I'm sure. Notice also that our seats are on the 3rd base side, I've never sat on that side of the park, I've always been on the 1st base side. I'm a sucker for the standing room only section at the top of the grandstand on the first base line. By the end of the game I almost always have front row seats and I only paid $20 bucks for my ticket. Since it's so early in the season there's a good chance I'll make it down to the front row by the end of the game tomorrow night anyway so that's good. I hope it's a good game. I'd love to see Manny hit home run number 500!

Finally!!!!!

2008-04-29T16:41:00.002-04:00

I think I have a crush on my new Gastroenterologist. He is so wonderful. He asked me all the questions, listened to my story and gave me every ounce of confidence that he's going to help me figure out what's wrong with me and help me fix it! He looked at my old blood work and asked me why they hadn't given me all the tests for Celiac, he said with all my symptoms that's the very first thing they should've done. That was music to my ears. He had me do all the blood work immediately. I'm also scheduled for a colonoscopy (eeeek!) on May 9th and a follow up with him in July. He also made notes about an endoscopy and a small bowel x-ray. I am totally ecstatic. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. He said the most important thing right now is getting me a diagnosis, whether it be Celiac, IBD (crohns, colitis, etc) IBS or something else, first we'll figure out what it is, then we'll work on how to make it better. I LOVE THIS GUY!!! I'm also going to get myself a new primary care physician within the Beth Israel network and get in soon for a regular visit. In the words of Shauna James Ahern: YES!

Back to the Doctor's we go.

2008-04-29T09:10:00.003-04:00

I'm ready to go see the new GI this afternoon armed with a list of symptoms, questions and prior test results. Doctors irritate me so much! I went to see a different GI last year and asked him about Celiac and he did a series of test but he didn't actually tell me anything about my results. I didn't even know that he had given me one of the Celiac blood tests. This morning I pulled out all my blood work from last year to bring to the docs today and decided to go over them myself so I would know what I was looking at. It turns out my doc did give me an Immunofixation panel which tests the Albumin, IgA, IgG and IgM. My Albumin level was low which can be an indication of malabsorption. My CBC panel also showed low HGB and HCT levels which are indicative of borderline anemia. My Iron levels were also low. All these factors and he didn't feel the need to go any further with the testing. You know what he told me to do? Cut the lactose out, take an iron supplement, and start using citrucel to regulate. Yeah that didn't work. The lactose definitely did, I definitely follow a lactose free diet now.

Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes!

ETA: I had started a GF diet but quickly stopped it once I decided to continue with the testing so that I will not have false negatives. I realize at this point I should probably have an endoscopy but we will see what the doc says today.

Oh yeah...

2008-04-28T13:19:00.003-04:00

I'm finally going to get myself tested for Celiac. I posted this here so that I won't chicken out and cancel the appointment. See I tried to get tested last year, but neither my PCP nor the GI that he referred me to wanted to test me for it (It's just IBS you see, you are not a classic Celiac case my dear). I was too afraid to stand up for myself and demand the tests, and too afraid to admit that to anyone else so I just went along thinking I'd take care of it on my own. Well that didn't happen and here I am struggling again. In that book I just posted about it gives 3 different tests to help identify wheat, gluten and grain intolerance and I scored high on all of them. Every test I've ever taken I've scored highly on and then they all say "you scored highly, please go get tested for Celiac, especially if you have a relative with a positive diagnosis". Well you see, my mom's first cousin was diagnosed last year, and I'd be willing to bet she's not the only one that has it in the family. And so I'm finally beating myself over the head and dragging myself to Beth Israel Deaconness Medical Center tomorrow to visit the Celiac Clinic. I will keep you posted on how it goes.

You should read this book

2008-04-28T09:23:00.003-04:00

I went to Borders last night to find a new cookbook and instead came home with Going Against the Grain by Melissa Diane Smith. I started reading it right there at Borders, continued at home and then again on the train to work this morning. It's an excellent read for anyone that's ever had any sort of health problems, I highly recommend it. It completely re-affirms what I've already been thinking about the negative affects of grains on our bodies and how beneficial it is to reduce or eliminate them from your diet. I realize that this approach sounds drastic to many people, especially those that don't experience digestive issues or other health problems, but if you read this book I guarantee it will at least have a small impact on your thinking.

I'm not trying to say that everyone in the world should get the grains out of their diets, just be conscious of the foods you eat and how they affect your bodily functions. I want more people to be aware of what's going on in this country and all over the world as far as drastic increases in health problems and obesity. It's no small coincidence that grains are the newest addition to the human diet. Because I suffer from so many issues, I am making every attempt to eliminate grains from my diet as I feel that it will make a drastic change to my health. I'm looking forward to not being sick and tired all the time.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled work day...

2008-04-24T13:55:00.002-04:00

I am a big fan of The Hills but I have to agree with Denise Martin on her Open Letter to Lauren Conrad. Click the photo to read it for yourself. I wish I was outside enjoying the beautiful weather rather than wasting my work day clicking my way through the internet.

The Last Supper

2008-04-24T10:29:00.003-04:00

This was my last giant gluten-packed Italian dinner. This was at Buca di Beppo's in Kansas City, Missouri when my sister and I flew out to visit our Great-Grandmother and Great-Aunt. The food was fantastic, but of course I felt like I needed to be carried out of the restaurant after eating all that heavy gross food. I'm starting to really feel the difference now. I am noticing how I don't feel disgusting after I eat anymore. You know how you get so used to feeling something that you think it's just the way things are supposed to be and that it's normal? I just thought that everyone felt full and crampy and uncomfortable after eating. Now when I eat and then I don't feel anything it's kinda weird. I feel like I'm not eating enough, but I'm not actually hungry anymore. I will really need to learn how to eat intuitively. It's just strange to me to eat, feel satisfied, and then move on. No cramps. No gas. No bloating. No food coma. No lead stomach. It's pretty nice, who knew eating could be this good?? I'm pretty excited about that.

Junk Food

2008-04-23T19:11:00.002-04:00

Purely Decadent Peanut Butter Zig Zag dairy free "ice cream". The peanut butter is the best part of this, of course, because it's real. The chocolate part is obviously soy, tastes a lot like chocolate Silk. It's not bad, but I'm a huge chocolate ice cream fan and this doesn't come all that close. However, it also doesn't make me feel like shit, so I consider it worthy. There are definitely other options out there so I will keep experimenting. Next I will test a mint ice cream because that is really my absolute favorite.

I love snacks so being gluten and lactose free is tough but ultimately healthier and not feeling like I have a lead cannonball sitting in my stomach after every meal is pretty sweet too. This afternoon I was hungry so I walked over to the convenience store for a snack. I grabbed a bag of potato chips thinking most potato chips are gluten-free so these must be right? WRONG. Cape Cod BBQ chips are NOT gluten-free. It says it right on the bag but I was being obnoxious and didn't bother checking before I left the store. I'm so damn stubborn sometimes. Anyway, I'm over it, moving on!

I tried going gluten-free last year and gave up quickly because I found it so difficult. That was when I was fighting with the doctors about Celiac and figured since they were so convinced that I didn't have it, then it wasn't worth going gluten-free. Well after all the research I've done, I realize that it pretty much doesn't matter which digestive disorder you have, if you have one and it's not getting better, try going GF. It's only been a few days and I feel better already.